Things get worse, before they get better

The process of working through feelings at first intensifies the unpleasant feelings. Only after processing them for a while do they become less.


When you start working through feelings, you may notice that the feelings that are in your way, are getting worse. This might get you worried, as the opposite of what you want seems to be happening. However, it is a good sign when this happens. Things are actually in the process of improving.

The unpleasant feelings get worse, because you are allowing them, and are looking for them. This is an important first step. When they thus arrise, you can start feeling them, and find out what they are really about. Usually this is something from your past. When you have made them conscious enough, so that you really understand what they are about, they dissolve.

While after this dissolving they are no longer in your way, similar feelings from other situations in your life may come up. After working through these as well, you will, after a while, find that the intensity gets less. They are not so much in your way anymore. Things get better, then.