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Not wanting to feel

Because we don't want to feel particular things, we are unaware of an important part of ourselves. This sustains our Unconscious.

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It is not easy for a child to deal with all kinds of emotions. Your brain is not fully developed yet, and you have only little life experience. You do all kinds of things to get rid of unpleasant feelings and emotions. And as an adult, you keep doing these things, because you have developed this skill as a child.

Tactics to not feel

You may for example get tense in order to not feel things. Or you start fantasizing to feel better, or act happy when you are in fact sad. You may accuse someone else, when you feel accused yourself. You may bury yourself in work in order to not feel grief, hoping that it will go away by itself.

There are all kinds of things that people will do, in order to escape a feeling they don't want.

A disadvantage to this tactic is, that the old reactions with the unpleasant feelings are in fact just swept under the carpet. They are still there, still being part of your possible reactions, making you do things that in fact don't do much for you. They also make it difficult to have insight into your self.

Processing instead of surpressing

Such tactics are normal for a child. The brains of a child are certainly not capable to deal with everything. It is also normal to keep doing this when you are an adult, as these are skills that you have learned.

But for an adult is processing the old experiences a better option. Our brains are equiped to do this, because skills will get out of date, and get in need of being refreshed.